Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Suffering & Joy





Greg Boyd's work is the best I have ever read on why evil exists.



Today I talked with my friend Lilly. Lilly has had a very difficult past couple of years. Several family members have passed away after grueling illnesses. She has had several bouts with cancer. Last month on the day of her mother's funeral her husband had a stroke.

Almost every time I talk with Lilly she looks at me and says, "God must have a reason for doing all this." My heart breaks every time she says it. First, because she has suffered so much pain and then because she thinks God is orchestrating it.

I don't believe that God is causing the suffering in her life. Not one bit. But that is to be the subject of a post sometime in the future. Lilly said something else that arrested my attention long after I stopped talking with her. She looked at me with a gleam in her eye and said, "I can't wait until the marriage supper (after Jesus' return). I don't belong in this world. I just want to be with Him."

Here is a woman that has seen so much suffering and believes that God has willfully and purposefully caused all of it, yet her love for God shines through her eyes. While I disagree with her theology regarding God causing sickness, I am deeply moved by her eschatological vision and her love for Jesus.

Theological nuances aside, I could use a good dose of Lilly's passion and vision. Over the past couple of years I have arrogantly thought that I have something to teach her. I have something to learn from her. She loves God in the midst of trial. Her eyes are focused on eternity in this moment. I bet that pleases God.
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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Bitterness is Toxic







James Tissot's "Michal despises David" from 1898


Thinking about Michal today. Remember Michal? King Saul's daughter that was in love with David. Saul gave her to David in marriage for 100 Philistine foreskins in an attempt to get David killed. Then Daddy tried to kill David repeatedly. I am sure she had Daddy issues.

David fled town. Saul gave Michal away in marriage to another man. The new husband is CRAZY about Michal. Daddy dies in battle & David officially becomes king.

One of King David's first orders of business was to go get Michal from New Husband and reclaim her as one of his wives. In one of the saddest verses in the bible New Husband follows behind Michal wailing as she is taken off to again be David's wife.

Maybe she was sick of New Husband adoring her so much and she longed to be one of David's wives. The text doesn't tell us how she felt. Sadly, that is probably because no one asked or was concerned.

Later comes Michal's most famous, or rather infamous moment. Once when David returns home successfully he dances before God worshiping wearing very little. Michal is embarrassed by this and calls him undignified. David promises that "Girl, I'll show you undignified!" (may not be an exact quote).
Because Michal criticized something as holy as the worship of someone before God she was struck barren and was unable to have children.

I do not think the following is probably true. I just wonder if it's possible that it could be true. What if Michal was so angry and hurt by being treated like a commodity and having to leave a crying husband that really wanted her that she became spiteful toward David? What if the injustice of going from being a princess to one of the King's many many women that injustice spoiled inside of her and turned to bitterness? I wonder...

Sometimes our response toward being wronged can put us in an even worse place. We are not responsible for the wrong things that happen to us but we are responsible for the way we deal with them. By releasing forgiveness toward those who wrong us we set ourselves free. When someone is unable to forgive another they are victimized doubly. First by the act that occurred, the second by toxicity of undealt with emotions and feelings. The most loving thing a person can do for themselves is to release others of their wrongdoings.



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Too Long to Tweet




I love using Twitter. Twitter for me is a man at a party carrying around an hors d'oeuvre tray. It provides light digestible thoughts without having to stop and take time for a full mental meal. I follow Greg Boyd, Bill Johnson, John Piper, and many others on Twitter. I get to read their condensed ideas without time spent following their train of thought through a book, essay, or even a blog post.

The downside of Twitter is that it provides quotable thoughts without context. It creates an environment where being quotable supersedes being fully thought out on subjects. The context that a tweet (or any quote for that matter) is birthed out of is essential to understanding it's true intended meaning. For example, "God often offends our mind to reveal our heart" is a phrase that I have heard quotes probably hundreds of times. After being repeated so often without context that can lead someone to assume that our thinking is a detriment to a full spiritual life. In a fuller context it can be explained that our response to the supernatural (when God does things outside of what we can understand) could be an indicator of our heart condition. Unfortunately that quote has been used to paint a picture of a false rivalry between head and heart in Christians.

In the pages of the writings of great spiritual thinkers there are many quotable gems to be found. I love reading those gems on Twitter as the authors or their readers post them. However I am sensing a need in myself to go beyond the surface and get a better context from which those gems came. If I am quotable; great. If I am fully thought out; better.


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Friday, June 17, 2011

Jealous? Part Deux




Isn't it interesting that the very thing that Saul feared was actualized through his jealousy of David? Saul feared that David would be honored and revered more than himself by the people. Saul's jealousy pushed people away from him and highlighted the favor on David's life even more.

As I read 1 Samuel it feels like Saul is trapped in a "Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!" season. Everywhere he turns people are loving David. Saul's son Jonathan made an oath to protect David from his dad. His daughter hid David when Dad sent men over to kill him in the night. As Saul grew more hateful the people around him adored David more.

Jealousy leads to irrational thoughts and behaviors. Saul's reason was so clouded that he killed the priest Ahimelek for feeding David on his journey. Saul then had 85 priests slaughtered because they were associated with Ahimelek. Then Saul had the men, women,children, infants, and all livestock of the town of Nob butchered because Ahimelek lived there.

Be vigilant with feelings of jealousy and rivalry toward others. Do not let them grow wild. Unchecked they can turn a king into a madman.



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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Jealous?

Envy is the ulcer of the soul. - Socrates


God's favor upon a person often provokes jealousy in others. Jealousy is toxic to the development of relationships while internally damaging the person who is jealous. It also leads to irrational thoughts and behaviors.

The story of David is a good example. Goliath was punking out the Israelites daring them to fight while they hid in fear. Doom seemed imminent as the days went by. King Saul offered marriage to his oldest daughter Merab for anyone that could defeat Goliath. No one stepped up to try. That must have a boon to her self image. (Maybe Saul could have guaranteed that anyone that killed Goliath would not have to marry Merab and gotten a few takers.)

David shows up on the scene and is met with disdain by his older brothers. Saul then gives David the "Rocky, you can't win!" speech that Talia Shire gave in the first four of the movies. Everyone assumes that David is about to be giant food when shockingly he wins. He cuts of Goliath's head and the Philistines run from the Israelites like preteen boys from a shower.









Celebrations ensue with singing and dancing. David becomes a hero overnight and Saul will feel indebted to him forever. Right? Nope. Saul allowed David's success to provoke him toward jealousy rather than thankfulness. Saul's insecurity caused him to feel lack when seeing David's abundance.

Jealousy of another causes us to see another person's blessings through the lens of our own lack. Saul's vision was so impeded by his jealousy that he tried to kill David repeatedly. Saul remained king because of the favor on David's life and he hated him for it!

If I am secure in my identity and my relationship with God I can celebrate other's successes freely. I want to have the heart of a father toward others in this regard. I want to be so secure that I always desire for those who come after me to have greater successes than mine. Because Jesus' identity was not in His works, He could desire for us to do even greater things than Him without fear.

When I begin to feel hints of jealousy arising inside of me I try to take action immediately. I ask for forgiveness for doubting God's plan in my life and for thinking that someone else being blessed is withdrawing from me somehow. I then ask God to pour outrageous favor on the person in the area I was jealous about.

If I focus on the things God is doing in my life I am not prone to jealousy. It is when I focus on what I think God is not doing that I catch myself struggling. I don't want to be like Saul - being threatened by what is God is doing for fear of losing my own little kingdom.

By the way, after killing Goliath David said "thanks but no thanks" to marrying Saul's daughter Merab. David later married one of Saul's other daughters Michal. That could make family dinner's awkward.


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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

In My Opinion




Today I am again recognizing the tyranny of my own opinions regarding other people's affairs. I have opinions about so many things that are none of my business. I have opinions about things in which I have less than zero expertise. There is a sickness inside of me that believes I have it is my right to have and express those opinions.

There have been times where I have heard a story about people I have never met that are going through a situation I have never experienced and I quickly spit out what they ought to do. A person's life can be so complex and full of unseen factors that it is literally impossible (unless God brings revelation) for me to know with any surety what they should have done from afar.

One of my least favorite things to hear said to anyone is "You know what you would if you were smart?" Because implied in that is that what you have been doing is not smart and the person speaking is going to now give you a tutorial on what an intelligent person would do.
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This next story is embarrassing. As a very young adult I worked with several older men who had opinions on everything. Over time I had heard them criticize a certain businessman from Detroit repeatedly. His intelligence and his ethics were consistently attacked. They had opinions like that about all kinds of people. I would listen and learn waiting for the chance to regurgitate their opinions as my own and sound smart (so I thought).

Some time later I was in a training class for a new job I had taken. During one of the breaks someone had a newspaper and there was a story about that certain businessman from Detroit. Ignoring all common sense, I said that the man "is an illiterate criminal". It wasn't enough for me to have an uninformed opinion. No, I needed to have a really BIG DUMB uninformed opinion. The sweet young lady that I was sharing a desk with looked over at me and said quietly, "He is my uncle."

Horrifying isn't it? The man that I slandered could have been a mixture of Billy Graham and Ghandi rolled into one. I probably wouldn't have recognized him if he would have squeezed in and sat down between me and his niece. Yet that didn't stop me. I had no right having an opinion about someone I didn't know well much less someone I had never met.

I try (occasionally with success) to catch myself now and not give people opinions about things that:
a) I do not understand
b) I was not asked for an opinion about
c) will not be improved by me having an opinion.

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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Hear Ye, Hear Me?



(Klondike commercial that is more sad than funny as a commentary of our times)



The thoughts in a person's heart are deep waters...

I often imagine the innermost feelings and thoughts of a person to be like treasure on the bottom of the ocean floor. I also picture myself having to hold my breath to get from above water to ocean floor where the treasure lies. These images are helpful to me because I can't hold my breath and talk at the same time. If I really want to find the deep things of a person I need to be quiet long enough to get there. I have to be patient, willing to wait through as I journey from water's top, through the shallows, and eventually all the way to the treasure.

My desire to talk rather than listen is my nemesis in relationships. I have never learned about another by listening to myself talk to them. We live in a culture where silence and true dialogue are foreign commodities. Sadly, having only the tv on is the new silence of our age. Patience, quietness, and active listening are necessary components to foster an atmosphere of understanding.

My relationship with individuals and with God have this in common; I am a better friend when I listen intentionally. It has to be intentional because it feels way more natural to give my unasked for opinion as soon as it floats through my mind. It has to be intentional also because someone will never get to finish a thought or story if I butt in each time their words remind me of something about me.

Some waters are deeper than others. Some treasure seems to float toward the surface while some seem to take a whole lot of breath-holding to get down to it. I am determined to practice holding my breath until I can reach the ocean floor without passing out.

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Sunday, June 12, 2011

Expectation & Anticipation





Good morning. It is 3 hours before our Sunday service begins at Redeemer. I am sitting in one of our 3 local Tim Horton's since God has not brought Starbucks to Monroe yet. Yet...

I am trying to pray. I mean that I am trying to talk to God about what we can do together today. I am having a hard time this morning because it is more natural for me to think about what I think I can do on my own rather than talk to Him about what we could do together. Trust me, church this morning will be more fun if God gets to be involved in the process.

As I ponder and pray about this morning with God I begin to feel my expectations rise inside of me. There is a hopefulness that emerges from prayer. Simultaneously I feel a sense of foreboding within me challenging my burgeoning optimism. I recognize it. It is my fear of being disappointed. This is not new to me. Genuine time spent with God, even when brief, results in hope, optimism and an expectation of good to come. Often I can feel it deep inside. The fear of being disappointed that sometimes will try to rear itself is rooted in both my pride and shame. My pride does not like to feel or look foolish. What if God doesn't meet my sensed hopes or expectations? My shame leads me to second guess whether I am really worthy of God doing amazing things in my life or even if it's preposterous to think He would communicate with someone as flawed as me.

So I consistently challenge myself to embrace hope, optimism, and lofty expectations. I fight within myself to silence the voice of discouragement and fear. Lowering my expectations of God to what is humanly possible is akin to riding a bike with training wheels our entire life. What feels safe is often limiting to our potential. I also try to focus on God's abilities rather than my own. God-focus increases my faith while self-focus increases my doubt. The more I focus on and know Him the more that I will expect the seemingly impossible to take place.

This morning I am anticipating that The Holy Spirit will be recognizably present at Redeemer. I also expect that God is going to share with me some things that He wants me to tell certain individuals. He could tell them on His own without my help, but I think He delights in partnering with us to benefit each other.

Again today, I commit myself to choose hopefulness. I anticipate our perfectly good God to do perfectly good things in our midst. I choose to expect Him to allow even me to participate in all of it.

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Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Trifecta of Awkwardness




(My view from the floor)

The following are some thoughts I had last night during our Friday night gathering at the church.
What is there about waiting that is so awkward? Well, not just waiting but silence too. Silence feels awkward often. Waiting while silent is doubly awkward. The awkward trifecta occurs when I don't know what I am silently waiting for.

Maybe that's what we should call our Friday night group at Redeemer... The Trifecta of Awkwardness.

As a community we gather at 9pm on Friday evenings to wait on God, often silently. We do not know what, if anything, will happen. In fact we are doing it right now as I type this.

Too often Christian meetings have become venues that strive to entertain and comfort the masses. In fact, many meetings seem to do everything possible to make people feel secure that absolutely nothing out of the ordinary will happen. You see the unexpected happening makes us feel out of control. Here in the West we like to feel like everything is totally within our control even if we know deep-down that is an illusion. Why else would we feel so secure having "church" end at precisely the same time every Sunday since Jesus ascended?

Why do we wait on God? Because Jesus waited on The Father for instruction. Because the disciples waited for The Holy Spirit until Pentecost even though they didn't know exactly what they were waiting for. We wait on God because we expect Him to show up. Like all really worthwhile things in life, He is worth waiting for.

Christian waiting is different than wishing. Christian waiting is active, full of expectation. I waited for our daughter to be born after Beth became pregnant in a very active way. I prepared for her arrival. I poured money, time, and effort into waiting for her arrival. I should wait on God in the same manner. I should spend myself actively preparing for Him to arrive.

As I type this some people are praying, some reading the bible, some expressing their love to God by quietly worshiping Him as they wave a flag, and some are meditating. To an outsider it may look very passive, even boring. To those who are physically, emotionally, and mentally invested it is a time filled with passion.


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Friday, June 10, 2011

Times Change, Truth Does Not




Elapsed time sometimes produces changes in perspective. To have perspectives remain unchanged over time means that one has learned nothing from history.

Today I read excerpts of a book published in 1900 by the American Book and Bible House authored by Charles Carroll. It's title was "The Negro a Beast". One hundred and eleven years ago a book by that title was published by a mainstream Christian Publisher!

The contents of the book do not betray it's title. For example Carroll writes, "The average weight of the European brain, males and females, is 1340 grammes; that of the Negro is 1178; of the Hottentot, 974; and of the Australian, 907. The significance of these comparisons appears when we learn that Broca, the most eminent of French anthropologists, states that when the European brain falls below 978 grammes (mean of males and females) the result is idiocy. In this opinion Thurman coincides. The color of the Negro brain is darker than that of the White, and it's density and texture are inferior."

Why the book was not titled "The Australian a Beast" or "What the Heck is a Hottentot and Why Aren't Their Brains Heavier?" I do not know. Carroll later assumes that his numbers weren't entirely accurate and that Caucasian brains probably weigh closer to 1500 grammes. Whew - the book may not have felt bigoted enough without upping the weight of the white brain.

It gets worse (or better if this was a mockumentary highlighting racist absurdity). The book goes on to provide sketches portraying lily white Adam and Eve standing separate from a crying dark skinned baby. The caption reads, "Is the Negro an offspring of Adam and Eve? Can the rose produce a thistle?"

Later sketches in the book show a white woman being married to a black man by a white preacher with a caption that reads, "Can you find a white preacher who would unite in Holy wedlock a burly negro to a white lady?... Ah! parents, you would rather see your daughter burned and her ashes scattered to the winds of heaven."

The book quickly became a bestseller.

To make sure that no one mistakes The American Book and Bible house as an open minded publisher that chooses not to censor it's authors they give their own opinion in the foreword of the book. It reads, "In placing the book The Negro a Beast upon the American market, we do so knowing their will be many learned men who will take issue with us, but while we are fully convinced of this, we are also convinced that when this book is read and it's contents duly weighed and considered in an intelligent and prayerful manner, that it will be to the minds of the American people like unto the voice of God from the clouds appealing unto Paul on his way to Damascus."

This bestselling book was published within a single generation of the Civil War. How is it possible that Christians were the primary buyers of such a book? There were of course Christians who opposed racism in America at that time. A group that William Seymour was associated with used their publishing house in response to promote a book encouraging racial equality titled "Is the Negro a Beast?" Of course that book did not do as well in sales.

I feel challenged today to look carefully and critically at the views to which I adhere. I do not want cultural acceptance to dictate my personal beliefs and standards. Racism was socially acceptable in 1900. It was not and never has been acceptable to God.




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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Samson and Ruth


In sports I love watching athletes that make the most of their physical abilities. Conversely I do not enjoy watching the ultra-talented underachieve. The rare athlete that is supremely gifted and driven to succeed (Michael Jordan, Muhammed Ali, etc.) is a joy to behold.

As a pastor I hate seeing people not living up to the greatness they have inside of them. I also LOVE seeing people take whatever talents they do have and go all out using them for God. I often see people with seemingly less natural ability or charisma that do great things for God because they persevere and use whatever they do have for His kingdom.

The book of Judges reveals Samson as someone that had all the physical characteristics a man could want. His strength was without rival. He did not have the character to match his gifting. He was hot headed, stubborn, a womanizer, and intensely selfish. The only thing that equalled his strength were his moral deficiencies.

He also wasn't being recruited by MIT. For example, doesn't it seem like he should have caught on to Delilah after she betrayed him for the BILLIONTH time? How many times does someone have to hear, "Samson the Philistines are upon you!" before wondering if this is a good person to be vulnerable with?

The captivity of Samson caused the pagan Philistines to celebrate and honor their false God. Instead of his life provoking people to honor the God of Israel the opposite took place. To quote Pastor John, "Power without character is creepy." Yep.


The book of Ruth immediately follows Judges in the Old Testament. Ruth is the anti-Samson. She had a grand total of zippo going for her in life. She was a unmarried widow in a culture that didn't afford women the opportunity to prosper apart from a man. She was a foreigner in a very closed society that did not have good relations with her people.

She chose to devote her life to her aging mother in law even though she was not obligated to do so. Surely Ruth could have had a better life among her own family in her own country than she would have in Israel as a caregiver. She gave up her life for the betterment of another person's.

God not only blessed Ruth with a husband and a family, but she has become the standard bearer of what loyalty looks like. It's funny to me, the words "where you go I go" seem way stronger than a guy pushing pillars down.


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