Expectation & Anticipation

Good morning. It is 3 hours before our Sunday service begins at Redeemer. I am sitting in one of our 3 local Tim Horton's since God has not brought Starbucks to Monroe yet. Yet...

I am trying to pray. I mean that I am trying to talk to God about what we can do together today. I am having a hard time this morning because it is more natural for me to think about what I think I can do on my own rather than talk to Him about what we could do together. Trust me, church this morning will be more fun if God gets to be involved in the process.

As I ponder and pray about this morning with God I begin to feel my expectations rise inside of me. There is a hopefulness that emerges from prayer. Simultaneously I feel a sense of foreboding within me challenging my burgeoning optimism. I recognize it. It is my fear of being disappointed. This is not new to me. Genuine time spent with God, even when brief, results in hope, optimism and an expectation of good to come. Often I can feel it deep inside. The fear of being disappointed that sometimes will try to rear itself is rooted in both my pride and shame. My pride does not like to feel or look foolish. What if God doesn't meet my sensed hopes or expectations? My shame leads me to second guess whether I am really worthy of God doing amazing things in my life or even if it's preposterous to think He would communicate with someone as flawed as me.

So I consistently challenge myself to embrace hope, optimism, and lofty expectations. I fight within myself to silence the voice of discouragement and fear. Lowering my expectations of God to what is humanly possible is akin to riding a bike with training wheels our entire life. What feels safe is often limiting to our potential. I also try to focus on God's abilities rather than my own. God-focus increases my faith while self-focus increases my doubt. The more I focus on and know Him the more that I will expect the seemingly impossible to take place.

This morning I am anticipating that The Holy Spirit will be recognizably present at Redeemer. I also expect that God is going to share with me some things that He wants me to tell certain individuals. He could tell them on His own without my help, but I think He delights in partnering with us to benefit each other.

Again today, I commit myself to choose hopefulness. I anticipate our perfectly good God to do perfectly good things in our midst. I choose to expect Him to allow even me to participate in all of it.

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The Trifecta of Awkwardness

(My view from the floor)

The following are some thoughts I had last night during our Friday night gathering at the church.
What is there about waiting that is so awkward? Well, not just waiting but silence too. Silence feels awkward often. Waiting while silent is doubly awkward. The awkward trifecta occurs when I don't know what I am silently waiting for.

Maybe that's what we should call our Friday night group at Redeemer... The Trifecta of Awkwardness.

As a community we gather at 9pm on Friday evenings to wait on God, often silently. We do not know what, if anything, will happen. In fact we are doing it right now as I type this.

Too often Christian meetings have become venues that strive to entertain and comfort the masses. In fact, many meetings seem to do everything possible to make people feel secure that absolutely nothing out of the ordinary will happen. You see the unexpected happening makes us feel out of control. Here in the West we like to feel like everything is totally within our control even if we know deep-down that is an illusion. Why else would we feel so secure having "church" end at precisely the same time every Sunday since Jesus ascended?

Why do we wait on God? Because Jesus waited on The Father for instruction. Because the disciples waited for The Holy Spirit until Pentecost even though they didn't know exactly what they were waiting for. We wait on God because we expect Him to show up. Like all really worthwhile things in life, He is worth waiting for.

Christian waiting is different than wishing. Christian waiting is active, full of expectation. I waited for our daughter to be born after Beth became pregnant in a very active way. I prepared for her arrival. I poured money, time, and effort into waiting for her arrival. I should wait on God in the same manner. I should spend myself actively preparing for Him to arrive.

As I type this some people are praying, some reading the bible, some expressing their love to God by quietly worshiping Him as they wave a flag, and some are meditating. To an outsider it may look very passive, even boring. To those who are physically, emotionally, and mentally invested it is a time filled with passion.


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Times Change, Truth Does Not

Elapsed time sometimes produces changes in perspective. To have perspectives remain unchanged over time means that one has learned nothing from history.

Today I read excerpts of a book published in 1900 by the American Book and Bible House authored by Charles Carroll. It's title was "The Negro a Beast". One hundred and eleven years ago a book by that title was published by a mainstream Christian Publisher!

The contents of the book do not betray it's title. For example Carroll writes, "The average weight of the European brain, males and females, is 1340 grammes; that of the Negro is 1178; of the Hottentot, 974; and of the Australian, 907. The significance of these comparisons appears when we learn that Broca, the most eminent of French anthropologists, states that when the European brain falls below 978 grammes (mean of males and females) the result is idiocy. In this opinion Thurman coincides. The color of the Negro brain is darker than that of the White, and it's density and texture are inferior."

Why the book was not titled "The Australian a Beast" or "What the Heck is a Hottentot and Why Aren't Their Brains Heavier?" I do not know. Carroll later assumes that his numbers weren't entirely accurate and that Caucasian brains probably weigh closer to 1500 grammes. Whew - the book may not have felt bigoted enough without upping the weight of the white brain.

It gets worse (or better if this was a mockumentary highlighting racist absurdity). The book goes on to provide sketches portraying lily white Adam and Eve standing separate from a crying dark skinned baby. The caption reads, "Is the Negro an offspring of Adam and Eve? Can the rose produce a thistle?"

Later sketches in the book show a white woman being married to a black man by a white preacher with a caption that reads, "Can you find a white preacher who would unite in Holy wedlock a burly negro to a white lady?... Ah! parents, you would rather see your daughter burned and her ashes scattered to the winds of heaven."

The book quickly became a bestseller.

To make sure that no one mistakes The American Book and Bible house as an open minded publisher that chooses not to censor it's authors they give their own opinion in the foreword of the book. It reads, "In placing the book The Negro a Beast upon the American market, we do so knowing their will be many learned men who will take issue with us, but while we are fully convinced of this, we are also convinced that when this book is read and it's contents duly weighed and considered in an intelligent and prayerful manner, that it will be to the minds of the American people like unto the voice of God from the clouds appealing unto Paul on his way to Damascus."

This bestselling book was published within a single generation of the Civil War. How is it possible that Christians were the primary buyers of such a book? There were of course Christians who opposed racism in America at that time. A group that William Seymour was associated with used their publishing house in response to promote a book encouraging racial equality titled "Is the Negro a Beast?" Of course that book did not do as well in sales.

I feel challenged today to look carefully and critically at the views to which I adhere. I do not want cultural acceptance to dictate my personal beliefs and standards. Racism was socially acceptable in 1900. It was not and never has been acceptable to God.




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Samson and Ruth

In sports I love watching athletes that make the most of their physical abilities. Conversely I do not enjoy watching the ultra-talented underachieve. The rare athlete that is supremely gifted and driven to succeed (Michael Jordan, Muhammed Ali, etc.) is a joy to behold.

As a pastor I hate seeing people not living up to the greatness they have inside of them. I also LOVE seeing people take whatever talents they do have and go all out using them for God. I often see people with seemingly less natural ability or charisma that do great things for God because they persevere and use whatever they do have for His kingdom.

The book of Judges reveals Samson as someone that had all the physical characteristics a man could want. His strength was without rival. He did not have the character to match his gifting. He was hot headed, stubborn, a womanizer, and intensely selfish. The only thing that equalled his strength were his moral deficiencies.

He also wasn't being recruited by MIT. For example, doesn't it seem like he should have caught on to Delilah after she betrayed him for the BILLIONTH time? How many times does someone have to hear, "Samson the Philistines are upon you!" before wondering if this is a good person to be vulnerable with?

The captivity of Samson caused the pagan Philistines to celebrate and honor their false God. Instead of his life provoking people to honor the God of Israel the opposite took place. To quote Pastor John, "Power without character is creepy." Yep.


The book of Ruth immediately follows Judges in the Old Testament. Ruth is the anti-Samson. She had a grand total of zippo going for her in life. She was a unmarried widow in a culture that didn't afford women the opportunity to prosper apart from a man. She was a foreigner in a very closed society that did not have good relations with her people.

She chose to devote her life to her aging mother in law even though she was not obligated to do so. Surely Ruth could have had a better life among her own family in her own country than she would have in Israel as a caregiver. She gave up her life for the betterment of another person's.

God not only blessed Ruth with a husband and a family, but she has become the standard bearer of what loyalty looks like. It's funny to me, the words "where you go I go" seem way stronger than a guy pushing pillars down.


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Toronto Investigated

I recently picked up James Beverley's book titled "Holy Laughter & The Toronto Blessing an Investigative Report" for 1$ in a bargain bin at a bookstore. It was published in 1995 a little over a year after the outpouring in Toronto became a worldwide attraction. I have read much of it the past few days.

As with much that is written, some of the major points of conflict that the book addresses now feel rather small in the light of years passed. "Holy laughter" is not the distinguishable characteristic that the move in Toronto is known for. The possible excesses that drew much attention from Christian leaders and media in the late 90's are not much more than footnotes in the church's history. I believe the Toronto Blessing will be recognized historically for it's global impact as many Christian leaders felt resuscitated and empowered by God in their time in Toronto.




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Regarding Propriety in Worship

"No reading of the Book of Acts will suggest that the ministry of the Holy Spirit is always inner and quiet. In adopting such an attitude we may be cutting ourselves off from the activity of the sovereign Spirit which we all so much need, and cosigning our congregations to harmonious sterility." ~ Canadian church historian Ian Rennie


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God Broke My Paradigm...and I liked it.

As I ponder and reflect on all that took place last week my mind often lands on a few of the moments that I found to be especially fun.

One of them is the Rock Concert / Worship / Deliverance atmosphere during Angela Greenig's daytime session. What a riot! I have taught on deliverance several times over the years in a few different contexts. I have tried to personally witness several different methods that others use and have read many books on the subject. I have NEVER seen anything like what took place that morning. Ever.

She threw little toy army men at people to remind them we are in a spiritual battle. She waved a sword violently as she prayed. She yelled AT people in tongues. She seemed to have a "Come and get some!" attitude with the demonic. Because of her I can use the words "leg scissors" and "ministry" together in a sentence.

Angela did everything that I have ever told students not to do. She did some other things I had not thought to tell them not to do. And the best part? I never once felt like things were amiss as it all took place. There are some things that are wise as principles but should not be made into strict laws of behavior.

There was yelling, falling, pushing, crying, and people being touched by God. As she ministered I thought of Smith Wigglesworth. If I were a pastor in a church in the first half of the 20th century that Smith ministered in I can imagine that I would of been aghast as he wound up to strike someone with an infirmity. I hope that my offense would be gone as the fruit of their healing was evident and I recognized that God was was not sharing my offense. As I reflect I am smiling. The body of Christ is beautifully diverse and thankfully God did not make everyone like me.

I hope to see Angela again. I can learn much from her. She has experienced some things I have only read about in books. God is using her in areas that many have been unwilling to go. I am praying for God's Kingdom to keep advancing through the unlikeliest of people in the unlikeliest of places in the unlikeliest of ways.


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